Special Edition - Part 1

I’m not Confident. This is certainly NOT my Niche. Actually, this is completely Opposite to that. I don’t even know if I can come up with the 2^nd post for this story because I don’t know what I am about to write. I’m aware of only two things 1. It’s gonna be more than 1 post. And 2. I don’t know what/when/how the end’s gonna arrive. I’m as clueless as you on this one.

And Finally, Any Names, Characters, Resemblance to anyone is something I seriously don’t care about and how TRUE this story is? That’s for you to Decide or Assume. I’m just gonna write it.

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11^th June 2006 –

“Almost a year, It’s been almost an “ERA” hasn’t it?” with a huge Smile, Neil said. SPECIAL stress was on the word ERA.  

“Certainly. And don’t use “ERA”. Still reminds me of her. She dumped me for that Scumbag.” Ankit said with a stupid smile on his face remembering his school-time crush who dumped him for Neil’s Bench-mate.

“Just give me a Call, Just is my Number. We’ll catch up sometime soon. I’m expecting some company.” he continued.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got myself some company right over there,” Neil said pointing to a group of 15 hungry looking friends waiting for food.

They shake hands and they’re off to their respective Tables.

An hour later, Neil notices that Ankit’s company across the restaurant room actually consists of two Girls. One facing towards and other away from him.

Now, Neil is curious. He Texts Ankit

-“The girl who’s facing you, Who is She?”

Ankit looks up gives him a Hands-off signal with his reply.

- “She’s Mona. A friend of mine, don’t even think about it Neil.”

Neil looks up across the Restaurant again. Smiles at Ankit.

- “Okay, I’ll Hold my horses. But atleast temme how she looks, On a Scale of 1-10 how would you rate her looks?” he presses Send.

Now, in the meanwhile Mona was pissed off with Ankit and his texting; She snatches his phone out of his hand.

-“You’re here with friends, keep your texting for later.” She said.

If there was ever something know as Bad timing in this world, than that TEXT hit it’s Bull’s-eye.

Ankit started praying –

“Please God, let Neil not text something stupid.”

Humans don’t bother about Grammar when it comes to praying for Divine intervention.

But the lord had other idea’s and two seconds later “Izzy wizzy let’s get Busy”. The Text arrived, with the phone firmly in Mona’s control. Hell was about to be Unleashed.

“Ankit, who the hell is it Neil? Where’s he sitting? I wanna know and NOW.” She raised her voice.

Usually when the Female Species get angry, poor-old Male Fraternity don’t stand a chance. And nobody expected Ankit to be a good opposition to her either.

“Look, Cool down. He’s sitting right there in the right-hand Corner wearing the Red Tee. But he’s with his friends. Please Don’t create a scene.” Ankit said. NOOOOO!!!!! He should had come up with better words but Alas. The Last FIVE words might’ve just ticked her off even more.

She stormed out of her chair and Zipped her way towards Neil’s table.

“Excuse me. Are you Neil?” She asked in an Irritated voice.

Neil looked up. And Boy did he Look up to something good. There she stood, with a Fuming look, but all Neil pictured was the most Beautiful Girl he had ever seen.

She had the most gorgeous and Mysterious of Eyes, a Nose which did complete justice to her soft Clear skin. Her Lips had a touch of Genius to it, God certainly took extra interest in manufacturing them. Her hair managed to rest on her shoulder. She wasn’t too fair but that was just a Plus for him. Her face had the innocence of a New-Born baby. In her Pink top she was as close to PERFECTION as Neil had ever seen any of God’s Creations to be.

“Wow.” he said.

“Excuse me? Are you kidding me? On a Scale of 1-10 how do “I” look? Why don’t you first have a look into the mirror Mr. Brad Pitt.” And there she went storming out.

She threw THREE sentences at Neil but all he did was Keep Staring at her.

“What was that?” Natasha, one of Neil’s best friends asked out of sheer Amazement.

“Wow. She thinks I look like Brad Pitt.” Neil smiled at his friends as they gave him the Glum look.

  

Well, if it’s any Consolation, He did hear her last 3 words. “Mr. Brad Pitt”.

Neil, Average Height. Average Tone to his Skin, Average Looks, Average hair; almost everything about his Physical Appearance was just about Average. So Neil = Brad Pitt? You wouldn’t want to bet on that.

“What happened to you there? She was firing bullets at you and you just stood there? Whatever happened to OUR Neil, you are supposed to be the SMOOTH-TALKER in the group right? You could sell Nike Footwear to Adidas right?” Natasha questioned him.  He wasn’t even listening.

For him, Miss “She-is-Perfect” had now just turned into Miss “You-mess-with-me-and-I-will-embarrass-you-in-front-of-the-entire-restaurant.”

Neil gets up from his seat and suddenly starts making his way towards the parking lot frantically. All his friends were worried, nobody actually cared what he was doing, it was just that Neil was supposed to pay the bill.

He was used to playing Loads of Sports so it wasn’t a problem for him to catch Mona, Ankit and the silent third Girl who Neil still hasn’t noticed.

“Mona.” Neil screams as she was about to get into the car.

Now, when it’s raining, usually people wouldn’t care but Mona was a Female first remember? She turns around.

“You. You Mr. Whoever you think you are. What do you think of yourself? First you humiliate me in there and now again?”

Neil raises his eyebrows in Disbelief. “Wasn’t It me who was Embarrassed?” he thought to himself.

“Look, I hate people like you. Guys like you……… ” and she continued her Verbal Abuse for 3 more minutes but Neil just kept staring at her wet hair and the rain drops which flirted with her beautiful lips.

Finally Neil came back to his senses and said his first sensible words since the past 15-20mins.

“Okay. Okay. I get the point. It was my mistake. I shouldn’t have asked Ankit to rate you or whatever I did that hurt you” Neil said in the most Calmest of Voices.  “I am a GUY. Guy’s do such stupid things and Ankit does it all the time too. You are friends with him right? Look, I’m really sorry but I’m here just to return your phone which you forgot when you were busy giving me the Miniature version of this Assassination. It’s my B’day today okay? And I asked him about you just because I wanted you guys to join us. That’s all. Now Adios.”

 Mona stood their in Utter Disbelief, Shock and use all such Superlatives you can to describe her Condition. He started walking back but now with some Zip in his walk. He was more confident; more interesting; and more Sensible than Mona had seen him in this short span.

The thing with Neil is he hardly makes sense most times, but when he Speaks, Boy does he Speak. As Natasha said “He Could sell Nike Products to Adidas.” He was Good. Very Good. One of the few things that was not so AVERAGE about him.

Neil turned around one last time to see Mona. There she was, looking at him through the window of her Car. But she didn’t look Angry, Didn’t look Irritated. She looked Confused, she looked Mystified, she looked Speechless. Her wet made her look Perfectly Picturesque, her scenic beauty was hard to beat. and made NEIL go “WOW.” To be honest, that was his Default Reaction to her beauty.

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5 Years later. 11^th June 2011 -

“You’re Under Arrest Mr. Neal. You're been arrested for the Murder Charges of TWO of your friends and Trying to Kill Miss. Mona yesterday night.” the Policeman said “You’ve the right to remain Silent.”

“But, I didn’t. Why would I kill my own Friends? Why would I even think of Hurting Mona? There’s been some mistake Officer.” Neil retaliated as Mona and her Fiancé "Aryan" watched the police escort Neil into their car.

Mona broke into Tears as she said her final words to Neil

“How could you Neil? After everything we’ve been through?”

Neil didn’t even get to say a Proper Good Bye to her.

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Well, That’s all for this time. If you wanna know what happened in those 5 missing years wait for the next part. 

Till then Adios!!!!

God Bless!!! :) 

Never Go Scouting for Hot Chicks in Super-Markets

“I’m Bored. I need to get these notes Xeroxed anyways. Chal wo to Kara ke Ata hai”. I said to Monty, Thinking back of the last time I referred to him by his Actual name Sourabh. Couldn’t remember. Chuck it.

So, we quickly give the Xerox lady, the material so that she can do her THING and we could get out of there. But you know what? It seemed like we are the only Two People in this world who were Lazy and Jobless because that Lady certainly was very Busy sipping at her Hot cup of Tea and replied with a unenthusiastic

“It’ll take about 20 mins.”

“Who drinks Tea at 7pm in the Evening?” I wondered.

None the less we had 20mins to Kill and Mr.Monty here came up with what SEEMED like a pretty Crisp Idea at that Moment.

“Chal, Age wala Supermarket mein Jake Ate hai. Saturday Hai, 7pm Baje hai, There gotta be atleast some Hot Chicks in there.”

I usually don’t listen to such idea’s but the Last 4 words of his Sentence brought an EVIL SMILE on my face.

“Well, Now that's what I call a Brilliant Idea .Well done.” I said to him, Climbing up the Stairs on our way to the Supermarket.

Now, Usually when guys enter Unknown territory like these with Probability of hot chicks in there , they check if their Hair is set Properly or maybe look into a Mirror [credits to Monty for this point :P ] but we did neither. Although I think Monty Adjusted his Belt about 5 cms to left just to be Confident.

Now, I step in first. Have a Glance around. NO Chicks. I move further In. No Chicks again. I reach the end of the Supermarket No luck.

I finally had begun to convince myself that this is just a Bad Dream so I started Snapping my Fingers. [ I know it's a Lame way :P ] But alas I was proved Wrong and we were Stuck in there. 

“Screw Hot Chicks Man, there ain’t even Ordinary Chicks in here. All I can see here is Two Old fat Aunties shopping Detergents and 1 Male Salesman that’s all.”

“How would I…..” and even before he could complete his sentence an Annoying voice interrupted him.

“Can I help you Sir?” Yes, It was the Weirdo Salesman. Orange Tee, Black pants. Looked like a Netherlands Uniform but forget it, He doesn’t deserve that compliment. Reminds me of the World Cup, ORANJE baby!!!!  B-)

Now I don’t know if Monty’s reply was a well-planned tactic to get me screwed or was it just out of sheer Anger but his pointing at me and his “So, Tujhe kuch Kharidna tha na?” took me by surprise.

Which was followed by that Annoying noise again which barked “Sir, What are you searching for?”

It’s Moments like these which make you think Why don’t we trust our Instincts more often? Because My instincts at that moment did pretty well and got me out of this mess.

“Deo’s?” I asked hesitantly “You got any good Deo’s in here?” the second line certainly had much more Confidence than the previous one.

“Yes Sir, This way.” And he escorted us to the exact position thinking what these Idiots were doing in the Soap/Detergent Section in the first place.

Now, I didn’t want to buy anything and Monty certainly wasn’t in a Shopping mood either. But we Couldn’t just walk out of there, actually we could but The salesman was staring at us like we were two Celebs who were about to buy something from his store. It was clear his Store was going to the Dogs. LITERALLY :P

So I have a quick glance over the collection they had there. And I noticed something

“Do you have the Blue one in this?” I think it was SET WET Zatak that I picked up.  

“No, Sir. We’re out of that but the other two are good too. Try them.” The annoying noise said.

“I Already have those two, wanted the Blue one. Don’t you have even One remaining?” Rubbing it in now.

“Sorry sir, Maybe Next Monday.” He replied pretty much like a Shot down Soldier.

“Okay, than.” Monty gives me a Smile more out of Disgust at my Act than anything else. “Chal phir Monday Ayenge.”

Now, I could had just walked off but I still don’t know why I did this but I just did. Instinct I guess. I turned around

“Excuse me, Wo Blue Wala, Please Monday tak Guarantee La kar Rakhna okay? Please.” With a Disappointed look on my face.

“Surely Sir.” He said like a excited 6 yr Old.

We get out of there eventually, Monty pops up with one his trademarks

”Kamina Hai tu, Saale Ijjat se bahar Nikalne nahi ata?”

“Well, Atleast 15min Time Pass to hua na? That was the point and now that’s One store I’m never gonna visit again.” I said with a Wink.

Happy Vacations to All!!! :D 

And We are Back!!!!!!

Hey Specialites,

Well, I’m pretty Psyched today, was thinking about writing something since a while now. Wasn’t sure If I should but yesterday forced me to write. Sadness or Anger always are the Best Inspirations. No wonder we See/Read/Watch so many of those Sad Stories all over the place.

Well, I know I’m supposed  to write better than last time with BIG WORDS which are hard to understand and which make you Google every 55 seconds but I'm Sorry, Most of my friends are People with IQ less than 20, who faithfully read my blog, they Suffer from  “Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia” or as we normal humans call it “FEAR OF LONG WORDS”.

So, will keep these posts Short and Sweet, well atleast Short. ;)

Cheers

Take Care

God Bless!!! :)